Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
