Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Randomize
