Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
