Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
