The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
