butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I am available for nakedness
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Randomize
