Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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