I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
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