I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
We are two peas in an std pod
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Randomize
