walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
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