I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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