That's intense
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
