I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
BRING THE BAGELS
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
