alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
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