So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
