Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
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