i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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