Rock
Scissors
Fuck
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
