This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Randomize
