...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Randomize
