Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
