I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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