She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Randomize
