She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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