i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
