you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
You are the jesus of drinking
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
