Duck Duck Cougar?
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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