Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Randomize
