I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
