ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
