At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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