Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize