I puked a lego.
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
i think my cat just said my name.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Randomize