ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
God, you're like boner-b-gone
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
