My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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