this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
