i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Randomize
