hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
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