i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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