nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
