Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
