I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Randomize
