So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize