So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
I booty called her while she was in labor.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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