i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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