I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
I think I just sharted jello shots
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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