so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
