That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
