so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Randomize
