My sheets look like a crime scene.
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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