jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Randomize
