Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
