Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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