well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
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