oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Randomize
