I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Randomize
