We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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