I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Randomize