Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Randomize
