If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
