It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
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