it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
