apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Randomize
