i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
i believe in u and ur pee
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
