If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
