Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Watching her eat just hurts me
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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