ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Randomize
